it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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