please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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