And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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