Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
