so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
