hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
