i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
