Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
