when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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