it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He did a backflip because drugs
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
