Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
