I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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