Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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