i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
