look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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