Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We need to get me chipped asap
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
