Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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