So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
