I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
