I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
