Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My ATM looks so different sober.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
