dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
