I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
