windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
