I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
