..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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