I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
my poor anus
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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