dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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