I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
