he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
