Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
