This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
