hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
