That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Bring me that man meat
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
