It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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