my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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