I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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