Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
