I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
