i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
