Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
