I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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