I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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