dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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