I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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