I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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