mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
