Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
