She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
