Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
