last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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